Thursday, January 22, 2015

So Much Things To Say - Bob Marley

I've had a theory for many years, that if i'm having a hard time and i listen to enough Bob Marley, my brain will be washed clean and everything will be alright. It hasn't failed me yet.

So many wise words from a wise man who lived not nearly long enough.

So much things to say, so little time.

Oh, when the rain fall, fall, fall now,
It don't fall on one man's housetop. Remember that:
When the rain fall,
It don't fall on one man's housetop.




"So Much Things to Say" by Bob Marley

Ooh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
Ooh yeah, yeah!
They got so much things to say right now;
They got so much things to say.
They got so much things to say right now;
They got so much things to say.

Eh! But I'll never forget no way: they crucified Je-sus Christ;
I'll never forget no way: they stole Marcus Garvey for rights.
Oo-ooh!
I'll never forget no way: they turned their back on Paul Bogle.
Hey-ey!
So don't you forget (no way) your youth,
Who you are and where you stand in the struggle.

They go so very, so very, so very, so very, so very, so very,
So very, so very, so very, so very, so very -
Everything they say - so much to say.
They got so much things to say, so much things to say.

I'n'i nah come to fight flesh and blood,
But spiritual wickedness in 'igh and low places.
So while they fight you down,
Stand firm and give Jah thanks and praises.
Cause I'n'i no expect to be justified
By the laws of men - by the laws of men.
Oh, true they have found me guilty,
But through - through Jah proved my innocency.

Oh, when the rain fall, fall, fall now,
It don't fall on one man's housetop. Remember that:
When the rain fall,
It don't fall on one man's housetop.

They singin': so very much, so very much, oh so very much,
So very, very -
They got so much things to say right now;
Yeah, they got so much things to say.

Hey, but I'n'i - I'n'i nah come to fight flesh and blood,
But spiritual wickedness in 'igh and low places.
So while, so while, so while they fight you down,
Stand firm and give Jah thanks and praises.
I'n'i no expect to be justified
By the laws of men - by the laws of men.
Oh, hey through Jah to prove my innocency,
I told you wicked think they found me guilty.

They got la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la;
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la;
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la;
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
- they "la" very much all the time.

So much things to say, rumour about,
They got so much without humour,
They don't know what they're doin', yeah.

Monday, January 05, 2015

2014 Review / 2015 Preview

Haven't done actual blogging in a while so just wanted to put down a few notes about last year and the new year. A bit of an informal review/preview.



(Started 2015 by hugging an ancient Sequoia after New Year's Day meditation retreat at Yoga Hillsboro.)

NOTES:
  • Jason and I started massage therapy school in spring of 2014 to become LMTs. We are currently more than halfway finished and hope to be licensed by end of 2015/early 2016.
  • I finally found my tribe at massage school. I've never felt more comfortable and "in the right place" in my life. I'm so glad Jason and I are doing this together - it would've been like falling down the rabbit hole without him.
  • Family has been challenging. Much change among them all, mostly not in happy ways.
  • Did get to spend a week with my niece and nephews this year and get to know them better. Little stinkers.
  • My parents retired and moved to Portland at the end of 2014. It was a few months of action getting them all settled in. I haven't lived within 600 miles of them in almost 20 years. It's weird but good to have them here. It's like meeting them again, but as an adult. Boundary discussions abound.
  • Work last year was harder, and easier, than it's ever been. After 8 years, I'm finally getting it. And they are finally getting me.
  • 2015 marks the beginning of our sixth year of trying to have a child. It hurts less each month when it doesn't happen, but still ...
  • Meditation is one of my favorite activities. So many energy-related modalities of bodywork require a meditative state and I'm really loving it. 20 minute sitting meditation - no problem!! I love to sit and meditate for hours in a group of like-minded people.
  • We took a "massage for people living with cancer" class and realized that I don't want to ever work in a clinical environment. The cancer rollercoaster is too much for me. I just want to hold the space when the ride is over and be there to help with the transition.
  • Focusing massage practices toward end of life care. Hospice. I realized that I will never be the LMT wailing on a client with "deep pressure". I believe in loving-care massage only.  I refuse to hurt anyone. Also, I've heard that people who want deep massage, have deep issues and I don't want to be a psychologist either.
  • I met my spirit animals while on a shamanic journey and I'll never be the same again.
  • Must do more hiking in 2015. I read Wild by Cheryl Strayed and saw it at the movies and it's the best story I've read in years. Makes me want to pack it all up and hit the trail. We're planning to build up so that one day we can hike at least the Oregon section of the Pacific Coast Trail.
  • Forever practicing patience, understanding and forgiveness. Really working on the idea of loving without liking. It's hard because there are some people in my life that I don't like (and they don't like me), but there's no getting out of it. We're bonded for life so we need to figure this thing out.
  • The furbabies (Crash and Derville) make me smile, yell, and love harder than anything else. It's not the same as having children, but at least they never tell me no or say they don't love me.
  • The blog has become mostly a music video library. Since we started school, I don't have time to write my deep thoughts here and it's never really been like that anyway so I don't really feel like a slacker or anything. Songs are just so much easier to use a measurement of my current feelings. I can go back to the songs later and know exactly how I was feeling or what was going on in my life. I don't want to blog about much these days, but I also don't want to give up 6 year record of my life, so I keep up with music. Listen to the songs, or don't. They're really just for me anyway.
  • Tori Amos is rocking my world right now. Her Unrepentant Geraldines album is like the sound of my soul humming. I wake up singing it. I'm convinced her voice is tuned to the heart chakra.
  • I found a love for all of the shamanistic ceremony instruments like Tibetan singing bowls, frame drums and rattles made of hoofs and nuts and bells. Sound has become a huge part of my experience these days. I even put a singing bowl on my head and rang it. It was like being inside a chapel bell. Absolutely profound.
  • Finally, if you think we were weird before, get ready for SUPER weird. The biggest difference now, is that I can OWN my weirdness and actually take comfort that it's necessary for what I want to do. Intuition and "witchy ways" are helpful tools in the bodywork toolkit and Jason and I have both. It used to be scary, but now it's comforting. Watch out - I'll read your mind and look inside your soul!
Well, that's a wrap!

Hope you have a great year, or that you can at least hold your shit together if it's not.

Just remember:

"As you rise, a rose you will forever be." ~ Tori Amos


Thursday, December 18, 2014

Hard Candy Christmas

This song pretty much sums up all my feelings about Christmas. Dolly Parton knows how to bring the tears, that's for sure.

Maybe I'll sleep real late
Maybe I'll gain some weight
Maybe I'll clear my junk
Maybe I'll just get drunk on apple wine
Me, I'll be just

Fine and Dandy
Lord it's like a hard candy christmas
I'm barely getting through tomorrow
But still I won't let
Sorrow bring me way down



"Hard Candy Christmas" by Dolly Parton

Hey, maybe I'll dye my hair
Maybe I'll move somewhere
Maybe I'll get a car
Maybe I'll drive so far
They'll all lose track
Me, I'll bounce right back

Maybe I'll sleep real late
Maybe I'll gain some weight
Maybe I'll clear my junk
Maybe I'll just get drunk on apple wine
Me, I'll be just

Fine and Dandy
Lord it's like a hard candy christmas
I'm barely getting through tomorrow
But still I won't let
Sorrow bring me way down

I'll be fine and dandy
Lord it's like a hard candy christmas
I'm barely getting through tomorrow
But still I won't let
Sorrow bring me way down

Hey, maybe I'll learn to sew
Maybe I'll just lie low
Maybe I'll hit the bars
Maybe I'll count the stars until dawn
Me, I will go on

Maybe I'll settle down
Maybe I'll just leave town
Maybe I'll have some fun
Maybe I'll meet someone
And make him mine
Me, I'll be just

Fine and dandy
Lord it's like a hard candy christmas
I'm barely getting through tomorrow
But still I won't let
Sorrow bring me way down

I'll be fine and dandy
Lord it's like a hard candy christmas
I'm barely getting through tomorrow
But still I won't let
Sorrow bring me way down

I'll be fine and dandy
Lord it's like a hard candy christmas
I'm barely getting through tomorrow
But still I won't let
Sorrow bring me way down

'Cause I'll be fine
(I'll be fine)
Oh, I'll be fine

Tuesday, December 09, 2014

Cezanne's 16 Shades of Blue

A song on aging by Tori Amos from her Unrepentant Gearldines album.

As her heart is slowly ripping into pieces
disconnecting from the circuits of her mind
"She'll get over it" you say "in time"
in time? stop Father Time
If the clocks are black absorbing everything but
a remembering how we made it that
how our clocks are black



"16 Shades Of Blue" by Tori Amos

Are you telling me it's over, disintegrating, lost and there's nothing I can do
Before you drop another verbal bomb, can I arm myself
with Cezanne's 16 shades of blue

As my heart is slowly ripping into pieces
disconnecting from the circuits of my mind
"You'll get over it" you say "in time" in time?
If the clocks are black absorbing everything but
a remembering how we made it that
clocks are black

You say "get over it if 50 is the new black, hooray this could be your lucky day"
But my cables they are surging almost over overloading as you disengage

Could your heart be slowly ripping into pieces
disconnecting from the circuits of your mind
"We'll get over it" you say "in time" in time?
If the clocks are black absorbing everything but
a remembering how we made it that
clocks are black

"That's it you're done.
You've screwed up your life"
before it's begun
There are those who say
I am now too old to play

See over there at 33 she fears she'll lose her job
because they hear the ticking of her clock
At only 15 I said 15, they say her future's bleak
She should have started this at 3

As her heart is slowly ripping into pieces
disconnecting from the circuits of her mind
"She'll get over it" you say "in time"
in time? stop Father Time
If the clocks are black absorbing everything but
a remembering how we made it that
how our clocks are black

Before you drop another verbal bomb
can I arm myself
with Cezanne's 16 shades of blue

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

More Sturgill - Living the Dream

I've been listeing to this album so much my southern accent is coming out, but I don't care becuase he is awesome! This is an acoustic version one of my faviorite songs.

That old man upstairs, he wears a crooked smile
Staring down at the chaos he created
Said son if you ain't having fun just wait a little while
Momma's gonna wash it all away
And she thinks Mercy's overrated

"Living the Dream" by Sturgill Simpson



Time and time again Lord I keep going through the motions
A means to an end but the ends don't seem to meet
Walking around living the dream anytime I take the notion
Til the truth comes bubbling up so bittersweet

Ain't no point getting outta bed if you aint living the dream
It's like making a big old pot of coffee when you ain't got no cream
I don't need to change my strings
The dirt don't hurt the way I sing
I don't have to do a Goddamn thing except sit around and wait to die

Been waiting on an angel waitress to come and take my order
Tell me all about the special today
Staring at a puddle of mud in my spoon couldn't be much boarder
Hoping them circles don't call back telling me to start today

That old man upstairs, he wears a crooked smile
Staring down at the chaos he created
Said son if you ain't having fun just wait a little while
Momma's gonna wash it all away
And she thinks Mercy's overrated

Monday, October 20, 2014

Turtles All the Way Down | Sturgill Simpson

This guy has brought country back! He has a great voice, humerous lyrics and that sad quality of country music that hits you in the gut. And his name is badass - Sturgill!

There's a gateway in our mind that leads somewhere out there beyond this plane
Where reptile aliens made of light cut you open and pull out all your pain
Tell me how you make illegal something that we all make in our brain
Some say you might go crazy but then again it might make you go sane

"Turtles All the Way Down" by Sturgill Simpson



I've seen Jesus play with flames in a lake of fire that I was standing in
Met the devil in Seattle and spent 9 months inside the lions den
Met Buddha yet another time and he showed me a glowing light within
But I swear that God is there every time I glare in the eyes of my best friend
Says my son it's all been done and someday yer gonna wake up old and gray
So go and try to have some fun showing warmth to everyone
You meet and greet and cheat along the way

There's a gateway in our mind that leads somewhere out there beyond this plane
Where reptile aliens made of light cut you open and pull out all your pain
Tell me how you make illegal something that we all make in our brain
Some say you might go crazy but then again it might make you go sane

Every time I take a look inside inside that old and fabled book
I'm blinded and reminded of the pain caused by some old man in the sky
Marijuana, LSD, psilocybin, and DMT they all changed the way I see
But love's the only thing that ever saved my life

So don't waste your mind on nursery rhymes
Or fairy tales of blood and wine
It's turtles all the way down the line
So to each their own til' we go home
To other realms our souls must roam
To and through the myth that we all call space and time

Monday, October 06, 2014

Promise

Here's a beautiful duo with Tori Amos and her daughter Natashya.

"Promise" by Tori Amos from the album Unrepentant Geraldines



[Tori:] Promise not to say

[Tash:] that you told me so
Promise not to say

[Tori:] that I'm getting too old

[Tash:] Promise not to take

[Tori:] never take your phone

[Tash:] I mean take their word

[Tori:] you mean over yours?
what I need to know, will you

[Tash:] Be there

[Tori:] Where the sun shines

[Tash:] I will be there

[Tori:] you are the light

[Tash:] that follows you everywhere

[Tash and Tori:] look for my love

[Tash:] where the sun shines
I will be there

[Tori:] will you

[Tash:] Promise not to judge

[Tori:] to judge who you love
I don't know if I...

[Tash:] Yes, make that Promise

[Tori:] whatever it is

[Tash:] can you hear the truth
if they accuse me

[Tori:] you think I'll doubt you?
what I need to know, will you

[Tash:] be there
when I am all alone

[Tori:] you're not alone

[Tash:] when I am broken down

[Tori:] we all break down

[Tash:] when every door is closed

[Tori:] there is one more

[Tash:] will you look for me?
I will rescue you

Thursday, August 21, 2014

Buddy Holly and Mary Tyler Moore

Don't you ever fear, I'm always near
I know that you need help
Your tongue is twisted, your eyes are slit
You need a guardian
Woo-hoo, and you know I'm yours
Woo-hoo, and I know you're mine
Woo-hoo, and that's for all time

Oo-ee-oo I look just like Buddy Holly
Oh-oh, and you're Mary Tyler Moore
I don't care what they say about us anyway
I don't care bout that



"Buddy Holly" by Weezer

What's with these homies, dissing my girl?
Why do they gotta front?
What did we ever do to these guys
That made them so violent?
Woo-hoo, but you know I'm yours
Woo-hoo, and I know you're mine
Woo-hoo, and that's for all time

Oo-ee-oo I look just like Buddy Holly
Oh-oh, and you're Mary Tyler Moore
I don't care what they say about us anyway
I don't care bout that

Don't you ever fear, I'm always near
I know that you need help
Your tongue is twisted, your eyes are slit
You need a guardian
Woo-hoo, and you know I'm yours
Woo-hoo, and I know you're mine
Woo-hoo, and that's for all time

Oo-ee-oo I look just like Buddy Holly
Oh-oh, and you're Mary Tyler Moore
I don't care what they say about us anyway
I don't care bout that
I don't care bout that

Bang, bang a knock on the door
Another big bang and you're down on the floor
Oh no! What do we do?
Don't look now but I lost my shoe
I can't run and I can't kick
What's a matter babe are you feeling sick?
what's a matter, what's a matter, what's a matter you?
What's a matter babe, are you feeling blue? oh-oh!
And that's for all time
And that's for all time

Oo-ee-oo I look just like Buddy Holly
Oh-oh, and you're Mary Tyler Moore
I don't care what they say about us anyway
I don't care bout that
I don't care bout that
I don't care bout that
I don't care bout that

Tuesday, August 05, 2014

Was this the one?

In case you were wondering - the answer is yes.

Tell me now, tell me true
Of all the things I did to you was this the one
That made you break
Did I make my last mistake


"My Last Mistake" by Dan Auerbach from Keep it Hid




Tell me now, tell me true
Of all the things I did to you was this the one
That made you break
Did I make my last mistake
Only you can play the game
Rope-a-dope and lay the blame
Cant you see, my body shake
Cause I made my last mistake
(Bridge)
I was out of line before
But this is so much more I know
I dont wanna be the king
Of every single living thing, just you
And you can be my queen, mama
Separate towns, separate hearts
Distant love from distant parts
Every man plays the snake
Bound to make his last mistake

Friday, August 01, 2014

The Aaron Neville Effect

When I first heard this song on the radio, I thought it had to be a woman. I pictured a turbaned Nina Simone or Erykah Badu. But it's a young hip looking man from England named Sam Smith.

"Stay With Me"  by Sam Smith



I call this the Aaron Neville effect. It first happened when I heard I Don't Know Much with Aaron Neville and Linda Ronstadt on the radio and then saw him on TV. It's like when you hear a song that sounds like angels singing down from heaven, and you picture light and air, but then you see the video and realize that it's a big burly guy in a sleeveless jean jacket.


Just goes to show how amazing music is and how it can morph itself to fit the most unsuspected vessel. Fascinating.